Hold your horses

To hold one’s horses — > to wait a moment.

As a follow on to my last post, let’s dive into this a bit deeper.

The theme of ‘hold your horses’ comes up a lot in coaching and it runs across all areas of our lives.

“So, what are you working on at the moment? What’s that about? Who’s it with? I know somebody who would be interested in that. I’ll get in touch with them. You should also look at …”

Hold your horses.

“I’m starting to plan a garden redesign.”

“What are you going to do? I think you should have a pergola. Have you watched Gardener’s World? Have you been to Chelsea? You should go online and look at …”

Hold your horses.

“I’ve very recently been diagnosed with …”

“What is that? When were you diagnosed? My friend has… I have …. Have you asked for a second opinion? Have you looked at other treatments? I once read a paper on this, I’ll send it you. Do you really need treatment for that, I don’t think it sounds all that serious.”

Hold your horses.

My independent research covers physiological and psychological responses to these situations. You might breeze through situations like this. You might go into shock, stutter and stammer a bit and go away feeling very stressed. It doesn’t have to be like that. Over time, and with practice, you can develop coping mechanisms, clear responses and stock phrases to make your boundaries clear. That last bit is often what’s missing — how to make your boundaries clear to someone who isn’t tuning in.

What could you say, in a clear and concise way? Here are a few suggestions. What would you add?

“I’ll share more information on my project through my website. Watch this space.”

“Thank-you, that’s jumping too far ahead. I’m happy thinking through this in my own time. I know where to go if I want to talk more.”

“I’m not looking for advice.”

“I would love to tell you more about this. Can you give me a few uninterrupted minutes to do that?”